


i found my way back to you

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exes, F/M, Reconciliation, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29063415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: For a moment; Maia allows herself to get lost in it. The feeling of Simon’s arms wrapped around her like this brought back so many memories to when they were dating. He always held onto her body so tightly and secure almost as if he was afraid of ever letting her go.-where simon and maia navigate to find their way back to each other.
Relationships: Simon Lewis & Maia Roberts, Simon Lewis/Maia Roberts
Kudos: 1





	i found my way back to you

**Author's Note:**

> i’m still bitter about saia. they were such a cute couple.

She’s perched at the small round table in the far end of the quaint little coffee shop secluded away from everyone else. Her laptop is seated on the surface of the table, a full two pages of words were typed on her screen as she sat there currently working on her essay for her Marine Biology course. A lukewarm cup of black tea sat athwart from her, along with a half eaten vegan donut.   
  
She’s remained in this position nearing two hours, deciding to come here to finish her assignment instead of being distracted at home by the rancorous sounds of her neighbors loud bickering. She’s gotten far––nearly halfway completed with the assigned essay, much to her mirth.   
  
Her body and bones were completely spent and aching from spending hours in the chair hunched over the computer while her fingers deftly moved across the keys of her laptop in haste. But Maia decidedly prevailed through her body’s overwrought exasperation, determined to have it written and submitted by the end of the day. 

She’s nearing onto the penultimate page of her essay, swiftly plowing through as her laptop screen filled with words. That comes to an abrupt stop when she hears a familiarizing voice that suddenly distracts her and causes her to falter for a brief moment. 

Her eyes narrow in on him as she follows the sound of his voice. He’s standing at the counter, loquaciously and mindlessly blabbing to a unknown customer that was standing beside him while he waited for his order. Though his back’s turned away from her, Maia could practically hear the sheepish smile in his voice as he continued to ramble on.   
  
That smile was one she knew all too well. She’s been on the receiving it of it numerous times throughout their previous relationship, her heart swooning in adoration and enamor whenever she saw the corners of his mouth crookedly pulling upward as his eyes crinkled in mirth. That had been her favorite thing about him: his smile which was always so warm and kind just like he had been.   
  
Maia feels a unsettling feeling fluttering and clenching in her stomach as she sat there staring at him. She swallows thickly, retracting her mind away from her reminiscing recollections and averts her attention back to the laptop screen. 

Though their breakup had been amicable and a mutual decision, it still hurt deeply that Simon had begun dating Isabelle Lightwood only a few weeks after ending things with her. He and Izzy had been friends, close friends when she and Simon dated. While he was faithful during the time of their relationship, it was no secret that Izzy had secretly developed feelings for Maia’s boyfriend somewhere along the way and it caused an awkward tension between them.

Simon was oblivious to his friend’s feelings while it was blatantly apparent to Maia. Izzy’s feelings wasn’t the reason for that her and Simon broke up. They had broken up because they’d been in two different places in their lives and slowly began to grow apart.   
  
It was hard because Simon had been the first real relationship that she had with someone she genuinely loved. He was her best friend and favorite person in the world.   
  
She first spotted Simon and Izzy together one night at the club she attended with a group of her friends who had taken Maia out to celebrate her birthday. The night had been a fun one as it was the perfect escape to held distract her mind off of the fresh breakup that she’d just endured. 

That numbing pain only submerged the moment she saw Simon and Izzy dancing and kissing each other in the middle of the dance floor. His eyes were crinkled in mirth as he smiled widely upon meeting Izzy’s lips. 

The sight of it caused Maia to falter. She couldn’t really be upset because they were broken up, but the gnawing feeling of jealousy still prodded at her anyway. Maybe because he was so quick to move on, with _Izzy_ of all people. 

That made Maia inwardly question if Simon’s feelings for Izzy during their relationship had been reciprocated. 

That had been almost a year and a half ago since their breakup. Since then, Maia had been doing fairly well for herself. She went back to school, resuming and making up all of the work for the semester that she took off. She moved in an apartment downtown and was working part time at the aquarium in addition to her classes. 

“Maia?”   
  
The sound of her name being uttered softly by someone retracts Maia from her deep reverie and causes her to divert her attention. She blinks, looking up to see Simon standing athwart from her. His mouth was parted slightly agape as he stood there in aghast, his umber brown eyes were slightly widened. 

Maia smiled half-heartedly, bringing her hand mid-air as she waves. “Hi.”   
  
He blinked a few times before he’s huffing out a laugh and his mouth’s pulling upward in a smile. He shakes his head, “You’re the last person I expected to see today,” She gives him a skeptical look, her lips thinned in a line.   
  
He immediately apologizes, elaborating on his statement. “Not in a bad way, of course! It’s just I haven’t seen you around since––” He trailed off airily, though the insinuated innuendo is perfectly clear. He harrumphed then smiled softly as he rubbed a hand sheepishly on the back of his neck. “Anyway, how are you? How’ve you been?” He questions casually in conversation. 

“Good.” She answered simply, shrugging a shoulder. She sees him falter a bit at her monotonous and disengaging demeanor towards him.

She starts to feel a little guilty. Regardless of their breakup, they did agree to remain friends with each other albeit it was obvious that they hadn’t. 

Truthfully, it was too hard for Maia to try to be friends with someone that she still loved especially knowing that he had moved on. She purposefully distanced herself and avoided going to the places she knew he loved.   
  
But if Maia was being honest, she did miss Simon’s friendship. He was the only person that was capable of making her laugh anytime he opened his mouth to utter a joke, even if it was cheesy. Their friendship was her favorite aspect of their relationship. 

She decides to indulge in the conversation, dropping her callused defense. 

“H-How’ve you been?” She questions, inwardly biting her cheek and cringing in chagrin at her inadvertent stammer. His eyes soften a bit and his smile widens at this. 

“I’ve been good. The band had a gig last night at that little pub downtown.” He says, in reference to his band Rock Solid Panda, the group that he’d started with a few of his friends from school. While working at the bar a year ago, Maia had assisted them in playing shows at the bar’s open mic nights.   
  
“That’s great, Simon.” She says in appraisal, knowing that the opportunity alone had been a big deal for him. She looks up at him, seeing him balancing the weight of his body between each of his feet as he held his cup of coffee in one hand.   
  
Maia moves her things aside and gestured a hand towards the empty seat. “You can sit if you want.” She offered.   
  
At this, his smiled widened as he thanks her before sitting down in the chair. Maia tries to not let her eyes wander on his face for too long. But now that he was sitting closer it was hard not to be distracted by him: his cologne fragrance was strong, the smell of it fills her senses.

His hair is styled in the messy, disheveled kinda look that she loved and always used to run her fingers through when they were together. Maia quickly pulls her eyes away from him when she seemingly allowed her eyes to linger on his lips as he brought the cup of coffee up to his mouth.

She quickly gathered herself and tried to gain her composure. 

“So,” He begins, taking a sip of the coffee before setting it down on top of the table. “What are you doing here? I mean, like, what are you working on?” 

“Oh, I’m working on an essay for my Marine Bio class.” She explained, sighing softly as she runs a hand through her messy curls. “I would’ve did it at home but the WiFi’s better here and it’s quieter. My neighbor’s have this cycle of arguing loudly then having makeup sex loudly. The sound travels through the walls and I unfortunately have to listen to it almost every night.” 

“Wow, that sounds awful.” He laments in sympathy, a slight frown furrows his face. 

“It is.” She nods somberly in agreement. “But I’m saving up so I can move somewhere else. What about you? Are you still living in the old apartment?” She regrets asking the question the moment it slips off of her tongue.

Her intentions of engaging in a casual conversation were purely amicable, but she quickly realized that if he was still living in their old apartment then that meant Izzy has stayed over and probably lived with him too. The vision of Izzy and Simon laying down in their bed, snuggled together caused a sour taste to form in Maia’s throat.   
  
Simon shaking his head ‘no’ at her inquiry puts Maia at ease. “No, I moved out after we broke up. It didn’t feel the same living there, y’know?” He asks, shrugging a shoulder. 

She nods her head. “Trust me, I know.”

Their casual conversation turned into them talking longer than either of them intended. Hours lapsed by without their knowledge and it had gotten dark outside. The coffee shop was nearly vacant sans a few customers and the employees that were still there.   
  
Maia and Simon had gotten so lost in each other that they hadn’t noticed the world moving on around them. It was nearing ten o’clock when Maia finally decided to make her egress. 

“I should get going.” She rouses to her feet and begins to place her laptop and notebook inside of her bag. Simon stands to his feet in tandem, his hands shove inside the front pocket of his jeans as he stands there watching her pack up.   
  
She slides her arms through the straps of her bag and tucked her phone inside of her pocket before turning back around to face Simon. 

“It was nice catching up with you.” 

He smiles, softly, nodding his head in agreement. “It was nice catching up with you too, Maia.” He says, and she doesn’t miss the way his eyes slyly flicker down to her lips or the way he whispers her name in a prayer. He looks at her in an unwavering and smothering scrutiny before stepping forward to wrap his arms around her.   
  
She’s taken back by the sudden contact but quickly succumbs to his embrace as she hugs him back. She could feel the wisps of his breath ticking her skin as he inhaled her scent, his cheek grazes against hers. They stood there for what seemed like forever, engulfed in the embrace, ravishing in the feeling of holding each other again. 

For a moment; Maia allows herself to get lost in it. The feeling of Simon’s arms wrapped around her like this brought back so many memories to when they were dating. He always held onto her body so tightly and secure almost as if he was afraid of ever letting her go. 

It’s the same way now, with his body slightly crouched down to meet her height level and his chin tucked on her shoulder. 

And Maia almost wants to _cry_ at how much his arms felt like home to her. They both stood there with their arms wrapped around the other, neither making the initiative to pull away first. 

But then Maia has a sudden memory of Izzy pop up in her brain and she realizes her reality. They purposefully avoided bringing Izzy up in their earlier conversation which she had been grateful for because the last thing Maia wanted to hear was how happy the two of them were together. 

Maia retracts away first, slowly and almost hesitantly. As she’s pulling away, she can see Simon’s eyes meet hers. He’s looking at her the same way he did when they were together––warmth and adulation fleeting softly in his pupils and it makes her stomach flutter.   
  
“Goodbye, Simon.” She bids him farewell, fully untwining her arms from around his body as she gaiters towards the front door and out onto the sidewalk. 

She exhaled a deep, shaky breath she was unaware that she was holding as she walks down the street. Seeing Simon today brought up so many conflicting and confusing emotions, what it also brought back was memories. Good memories of their relationship and friendship. That was always this familiarizing sense and feeling of home that surrounded Simon, it was present in their reconciliation today. 

She’s halfway down the street when she hears someone clamor out her name in attempts of grasping her attention. Maia halts her movements mid-gait and turns around to see Simon jogging up to her. She stands there waiting while he approached. 

He stops in front of her, his smile uneasy and shaky as he rubs a hand against the back of his neck. “I was just wondering if I could walk you home?” He’s giving her a look of trepidation like he’s sullenly waiting for her to decline his offer. 

She probably should because just after one conversation, here she was teetering back down memory lane and inwardly contemplating on the ‘what if’s’.

But Maia doesn’t. She missed Simon’s company and honestly, she enjoyed catching up with him earlier regardless of the conflicting emotions it brought up for her. 

“Yeah, sure. I’d like that.” She smiles in which he mimicked, pulling his mouth into a mirthful grin.   
  


\- 

“That’s _disgusting_!” She ridiculed, her mouth jutting downward in a distasteful and disapproving frown as a shudder rolls down her spine. “Why would anyone voluntarily drink root beer?” 

Simon scoffs, playfully, his mouth slacked as a chuckle emanates from the back of his throat. “Out of everything that I just told you _that’s_ what you’re focused on!?” He berates, shaking his head at her though the soft smile is still worn on his face.   
  
They’re walking side by side down the street, their shoulders teasingly brush against each other’s, fingers shyly graze in passing. They’ve been exchanging stories as they continued their journey towards Maia’s apartment. She told him about the time she had to save a kid from nearly drowning, while he was currently telling a story about his very eventual Christmas vacation he sorry with his family.   
  
Maia laughed heartily as she raised her hands in the air in defense. “I’m sorry! Hearing your story about you and your sister walking in on your grandmother and her boyfriend is distributingly hilarious but I can’t get over the fact that you have _terrible_ taste!”   
  
“I do not!” He rebuttals, feigning a mocking offense. “You’re just a picky eater.” 

“ _Me_?” Maia gapes, pointing a finger at her chest. “This is coming from the person who has to order himself a separate pizza because he’s too stubborn to just pick off all of the toppings that he didn’t like on it.” 

“That’s not fair, okay! You can still taste the little anchovies and peppers on there when you take them off.” 

Maia rolls her eyes as she folds her arms beneath her chest. She smiles as she shakes her head, “This just proved my entire point.”   
  
Sighing as he conceded defeatedly in agreement, Simon only smiles softly as he looks down at her. Maia’s smiling back at him with the same warmth that’s reflected in his eyes.   
  
“My apartment’s right up here.” She states, pointing at the large apartment building that they were standing in front of. They got so distracted that they didn’t realize they had arrived to Maia’s apartment.   
  
Simon’s face falters a bit, feeling slightly disappointed that the walk had been shorter than he thought and that their night was coming to an end. 

Maia bit her bottom lip as she flickered her gaze between Simon and her apartment building. She soon realized that she didn’t want the night to come to an end either. 

“Do you want to come up? I’m almost positive that my neighbors have already finished so we won’t have to listen to their loud moans and groans for the rest of the night.” 

Simon laughed as he nodded his head. “I’d love to.” 

Maia pushed the front door open to her apartment and steps aside, allowing Simon to saunter in first as she closes the door behind them. He’s walking around, spectating at her spacious and luxurious abode. “Damn.” He whistles, nodding his head approvingly at the decor in the living room.

Simon found himself perched on one of the plush cushions on her couch. She disappeared into the kitchen, returning moments later with two bottles of water in her hands.

She offers him one with a raised brow, he accepted and kindly thanked her. Maia stood athwart from him, sipping lightly on the water. “This place is nice. Way better than the place I’m in now. Aside from the horny and loud neighbors, why do you want to move?”  
  
Maia simpers feebly as she places the water bottle down. She settles next to him on the couch with her legs tucked underneath her body. “Rent’s increasing for one and secondly, the place is just too big.” She shrugged, looking around her living room. “It’s weird because people talk about having too little space and here I am complaining because I have too much.” He scoffs playfully at the irony. 

“No, I get it.” Simon says, causing Maia to look over at him. “The space just reminds you how lonely everything is. I feel that way too sometimes.” He somberly admits, the melancholic shift in his tone and demeanor catches Maia by surprise.   
  
A quietness falls between them as they sat there. Silence lays steadily as the unsaid words hovered over them like a looming cloud.

“Maia?”

Simon’s looking at her with this unreadable expression, determination and apprehension tether around the edges. He shifts on the couch so that he’s fully facing her direction. He writhed his hand nervously as his face furrowed in a contemplating frown.   
  
She finds herself becoming nervous as well as each second of silence ticked by.

“Catching up with you today has been amazing. It reminded me how everything was between us, how easy and fun our relationship was.” He reminisces somberly, causing her to nod her head curtly in agreement.   
  
“It was nice while it lasted.” She acknowledges, giving him a sad smile.   
  
Simon’s frown deepens as he chewed on his lower lip in apprehension. “ _Why_ did it end exactly?” He catechizes in curiosity, the sudden brash inquiry appalls her and leaves her aghast.   
  
She sits there quietly for a brief moment, collecting her thoughts. So _this_ is direction of where the rest of the night was going to go. She enjoyed reminiscing on the more mirthful moments of their relationship, but having to talk about the lesser moments of merriment didn’t sound like an ideal way of passing time through conversation. 

Regardless of her feelings of apprehension, she knows that eventually it would’ve come to this point and if she was being truthfully, she was glad that he was the one that initiated it first as if it were up to her, she would’ve blatantly avoided the topic all together.   
  
“Because, I know at one point we were happy.” He averts his gaze over at her, raising a questioning brow looking for confirmation. “ _Right_?” 

She gives him an incredulous look, wondering where he got the absurd idea that thought otherwise. “Of course! Simon, you were everything to me. You know that.” She confesses in an imbued sincerity, the softness of her words and her physiognomy eases his worries. 

He nods, his eyes flicker down to his hands that were rested across his lap. The corners of his mouth twitched upward in recoil. He suspires softly, shrugging a shoulder half-heartedly. 

“Then when did you stop feeling that way about me?” 

This time it’s her face that furrowed in a deeper frown of confusion. “ _What_?”

Simon’s eyes fleeted upward to meet hers again, sullenness brims around the edges. “The day we broke up you said that you felt we were starting to grow apart––”

“And you agreed!” She rebuttals in defense. 

Simon shook his head and smiled sadly at her. “I only agreed because I could see that I wasn’t making you happy anymore. You seemed like you wanted an out.”

She gave him another incredulous look of opposition. Was this seriously the game he was playing? 

“ _I_ wanted an out?” She questioned, reiterating his words of blame from earlier as she points a finger at herself.

“No. You were the one that was spending all that time with Izzy even when you knew exactly how she felt about you. I pretended like everything was okay because I didn’t want to seem like the jealous and controlling girlfriend that didn’t let her boyfriend have girl friends. I’m the one that gave _you_ the out.” 

“Why would I have wanted an out Maia?” He exasperates, wearily throwing his hands in the air in defeat. “You were my girlfriend! I loved you. And as for Izzy––we were just friends.”

She chuckled humorlessly at that before pursing her lips together. She groans softly as she ran her fingers through her curly coiffs. This wasn’t how she wanted to spend her night, arguing and reminiscing on their failed relationship.   
  
“Friends.” She hums disbelievingly under her breath. “That’s funny because you two seemed like more than just friends when I saw you two together at the bar.” 

She tried to maintain her composure and reel in on her anger, but all of that unresolved pent up aggression was just venomously spewing out of her uncontrollably all at once. 

“What?” Simon questioned in confusion. 

Maia clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “A few months after we broke up. I saw you two at the bar. The one we used to go to. You two were dancing and smiling and you looked _so_ happy-” Her throat clicks as a lump grows in the apex of her throat. She squeezes her eyes shut and bites on her bottom lip to prevent it from trembling. 

Crying in front of her ex was the last thing she wanted to do tonight.   
  
At first, Maia thought that them running into each other was a sign. Now she sees that it’s a mistake that only opened up painful wounds. 

She purses her lips together and sniffles lowly. “You should go.” She mutters, mindlessly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as she stands to her feet.   
  
Simon follows suit and hastily rouses to his feet too. “Maia,” His voice cracks a little beneath the somber timbre of it. He’s suddenly approaching her, trying to console her in an embrace. 

She shakes her head and takes a tentative step away. “This entire night was a mistake. We should just go back to avoiding each other, that way was easier.” 

Simon looks pained by her words, his face crestfallen and forlorn. “You were avoiding me?” He inquired, suddenly realizing why he hadn’t seen her in almost a year.

He just assumed that was because she was busy with school and stopped hanging around all of their old places they used to go to together. He never would’ve thought that she was purposefully going out of her way to avoid running into him.   
  
This hurt even more especially knowing that she witnessed that moment between him and Izzy a while back. He knew it was a mistake to bring her there, but Izzy had practically pleaded him to go there instead of the other bar that was closer to her place. Simon had been on a paranoid edge that entire night hoping that he wouldn’t run into Maia. 

Luckily, he didn’t but now he knows that she was there to witness their blithe firsthand and it made him feel guilty. 

At that time, he was happy, well, as happy as he could be. The pain of his breakup was still fresh and while he did enjoy the time he spent with Izzy, it was nothing compared to what he shared with Maia. Simon hated to compare the two because they were both incredibly amazing women, it’s just there was this special connection he shared with Maia that was way deeper than what he had with Izzy.   
  
Simon also found that he preferred Izzy as a friend rather than a girlfriend––they worked better that way. Being in a relationship complicated things and made everything awkward. 

And there was also this other issue that complicated his relationship with Izzy; he was still in love with Maia.

He tried so hard to find that happiness with Izzy that he had when he was with Maia, but it was a constant struggle. Izzy was amazing but she just wasn’t... _Maia_.   
  
He wanted to reconcile and repair their relationship so many times, but he assumed that she wanted nothing more to do with him after they ended their relationship. Seems like that was the sad reality.   
  
“I have work that I need to finish and you should probably get back to Izzy-” 

“I’m not with Izzy anymore.” He quickly states, interrupting her mid-sentence to plead his case. She pauses, blinking her eyes at him as she stands there aghast. “I broke up with her. We weren’t good together, not like how you and I were.” He says, softly, his eyes cemented on hers as he suddenly approaches.

“I never stopped thinking about you, Maia. I tried so damn hard to try to be happy with Izzy, but it didn’t work. You’re the only one that I want to be with. I didn’t want to break up in the first place. I only did that because I thought that’s what you wanted. But maybe you’re right. I-I should’ve fought harder for us. I should’ve told you that I didn’t want to break up, that I wanted to stay with you because I love you more than anything else in this world.”   
  
Maia’s breath catches as he stands there listening to his confession. Her heart quivers at his words.   
  
Those were the exact words that she’d wish to heard so many months ago, that would’ve prevented her from enduring the treacherous heartbreak. Now that she’s heard them she couldn’t believe that he actually felt the same way that she did. (does!) 

“B-But I thought––”

“No,” Simon rebuttals. He walks over to her and stops when he’s directly in front of her. His hands reach down and clasp her face within his grasp, he holds her unwavering gaze as he looks down into her eyes. 

“It’s you, Maia. It always has been.” He declares before pampering his lips against hers in a deep kiss. 

It’s soft, kinda shy and hesitant. He’s doing most of the work until Maia finally reciprocates and kissed him back. He groans softly into her mouth, as her arms slide around his neck and her body pressed against his. His hands are resting on her waist, pulling her closer flush up against him.

His lips are soft and insistent as they moved in a feverish tandem along his wanton mouth.

They don’t want to pull away as they were too ravished in the taste and feeling of each other’s lips, but they had to do they could catch their breaths. 

When they retract, their lips are both completely plump and kiss swollen. The skin around Simon’s mouth is red and raw and his eyes are blown wide. His breathing is hitched as he rests his forehead against hers.

“Can we start over and just pretend that the breakup never happened?” 

She smiles softly, running her fingers through his hair. “We can for sure start over. But there’s still a lot we should talk about before we delve into anything serious again.” 

He nods his head in agreement upon realizing that she was right. There was still so much that they needed to talk about, unresolved issues that still resided amongst them, but that caring at the moment had diminished and all they could think about was the feeling of their mouths pressed against each other’s. 


End file.
